Late Night List

Its almost 3am the night before an exam and am tired of studying. So, that means my mind likes to move on to more creative things and in about 16 mins I managed to come up with a great list for how to avoid taking an oral exam. Its relevant because I'm here for school anyway and some of these definitely couldn't happen if i wasn't here. Yeah. I'm tired. Here we go...

47 Ways to show up to an exam and still avoid taking it:

1) i could just walk in and say hi then leave
2) i'll get drunk and then ill go
3) or i'll get high
4) ill get lost in the streets
5) i'll show up at the wrong time
6) or the wrong classroom
7) or the next day
8) ill pretend i already left the country
9) ill write him a note, ball it up, and chuck it into the room as i run past
10) ill walk in point to the person leaving the room and say ditto and then leave
11) ill learn how to juggle and just do that until he tells me to go
12) ill sit down then abruptly start to cry
13) i'lll call my mom when i walk into the room and tell her to tell him i dont feel well
14) ill tell him i'm pregnant and too emotionally distressed
15) ill tell him id rather be at the beach
16) i will scream my answers hoping he wont hear them
17) ill just stand in the doorway and wave
18) ill pretend to lose my voice
19) i'll poor ketchup on my arm and act surprised when he points it out and act like i've been shot
20) i will suddenly forget how to speak spanish
21) ill tell him in my bad spanish how i was abducted by aliens and they use an anal probe
22) ill sing everything to him
23) ill suddenly get a bad case of diarrhea
24) ill tell him i have to go blow my nose and never come back
25) i'll perform a ritual in the room and explain that it will give me good luck
26) i'll heave like im going to throw up
27) wet my pants and pretend like i did it as i walked into the room
28) start break dancing
29) just stare at him as he talks to me and waits for my answer
30) develop a case of tourettes!
31) start using sign language
32) demand an interpreter be present
33) tell him its that time of the month
34) be so hyper that i can't pay attention
35) space out and never space back in
36) says its my birthday and i expect full marks
37) tell him obama is my uncle and will start a nuclear war if i get anything below an 8
38) take a sip of water and accidently spray it in his face when he starts to ask a question
39) talk about nonsense
40) explain that i cant think without wearing earrings and go back to get them
41) tell him my dog died and i'm really upset about it
42) just hug him and dont let go
43) mimic him
44) break my leg on the way to the exam
45) pretend to be on to be a millionaire and spend way too much time on the sound effects
46) put my head down when i sit down and fall asleep
47) hold up the number 10 throughout the whole thing

leavemealonenight.